At my weaving group meeting this week, we were talking about the feeling of being overwhelmed, especially this time of year. One member mentioned that she had so much to do, but when she had a little time she couldn't get to anything. I remember feeling that way, like I "short circuited". I had so much running through my mind I was paralyzed and not able to do anything. In my mind I saw myself as a cartoon character that just sprang apart...arms, legs and head flying off in different directions.
This year I didn't have much of that feeling. When I got sick, I just let go of everything. Now that I am feeling better, I am seeing several things that did not get done, and may not get done in time. But I still have to take it slow, I don't want the cough to get worse again. Right now I can take a deep breath without coughing and I enjoy that.
I was reading "Women Who Run With the Wolves", a book about the wild woman in all of us and giving that part of yourself room to be. The chapter on Homing...the need to have that personal space and the need to renew and recharge. Virginia Woolf talked about having a room of one's own, but it doesn't even need to be a physical space. However, we all need to have that time to renew. When all the world is coming at us and we know we will be over-whelmed, we need to close the door on that place and find ourselves. I remember reading about a woman who would put on ear phones, play beautiful music, and sit and spin facing the corner of the room. She could not see any problems and could escape into a quiet space and enjoy. What is your quiet space? Do you have one?
I know can't take care of everything, but if I take care of myself first, I can go back and look at how I can take care of what needs to be done. After the break of enjoying my weaving, or making something, I can look at the things that need to be done with fresh eyes. Then I can see what things "have" to be done and which of those "have to be done by me." Not all of them must be done by me, and after the break from them I can find someone to help and get those done. But I need to remember that I must help me first. I love those around me, but I can't so them love if I don't show myself love.